nina packs up her belongings...

and personally takes another chunk of the ozone layer with her throw away utencils...

i have come to the conclusion that she who dies with the least amount of crap and belongings is truly the winner.  this is my 3rd move in 2 years.  i am beginning to get a high out of watching the bits and pieces of things that seem to follow me just because they are there get hauled away by the idaho youth ranch.   its like a huge weight off my shoulders.  its true that the furniture i have decided to bring with me will not lend itself to massive parties but then that has never happened in my lifetime anyhow.  well except that once,  boy were my parents pissed when they found out.

14 days to privacy!

i just had a best 4th of july EVER!!!

today a mid morning float on the lake...  (this is not the lake nor did i think it necessary for them to wear their floatation devices because even though the grass IS tall enough to fall into and drown i decided to take a chance...)

 then home for lunch... then we did fireworks... then my girls became perplexed when i told them that the food fight was next.   i put plastic bags over their heads with holes for their heads and holes for their hands.

I put the "item" in two brown  bags and counted to 3

they told me to put down the camera and pick up my weapon.  we all needed showers after that...   dinner was spinach and feta cheese pizza which delighted all of us!   hannah baked lemon bars for dessert.

we now are headed to Table Rock to watch the valley light up and then back down to docks to light our flying lanterns

best day ever i tell ya!

enjoy it while it lasts? i dunno... maybe no title at all

after the house got quiet, i walked outside to find kitty.   i looked around at all of my ideas that dani turned into reality.  i lit candles turned on the lights and decided that for one time, maybe the last time i will sleep in the garden of eden she had created for me as a diversion during such very scary times....  perhaps tomorrow i can convince the girls to sleep out here with me.   we did it last year.  all four of us.  that was when my partner was part of my life.   we tried to stay awake for a meteor shower but we all pooped out.   it was one of my favorite memories here in this house.

so i will sleep.  perhaps to dream about the love this house was suppose represent when I moved here.  my chestnut haired girl and my two beautiful children.  we came so close to being a family.  may my dreams soften my saddness of complete failure.   may God hear my prayers:

thank you lord for giving one more year to try to heal my relationship.  thank you for all the beauty that was surrounding me during the hard things that came my way this year.  and please send me off to sleep with my favorite memories of all of those i love so deeply.  may you soothe my chestnut haired girl and soften her heart so that she too can continue through the life you gave us and find love and joy.

amen