welcome to the next chapter...

once a long time ago, i read on a blog, "i am a lesbian but thats not all i am". i was then just teetering on the edge coming out as a lesbian. back then, although i understood what she was saying, i was completely drowning in that one dimension of my identity. i knew then i was more than also but such turmoil tends to shrink your field of vision. it is scary and exciting and anticipatory and it is exhausting.

i am almost 5 years out now. some things look differently in my life. some things are the same. but i revel in the knowledge that i am a lesbian and in the knowledge that i really am more than just... my field of vision has grown to include the wide open spaces of life's endless possibilies.

for those of you who know me, you will be able to find the familiar places of my old writings which i will have on the sidebar. for those who stumble upon me and find yourself confused by fragmented references or are struggling to come out later in life, you will find the Closer to Fine link most helpful. I recommend reading it from the beginning, it makes more sense.

one more thing, blame my lack of capital letters on e.e. cummings...

Monday, October 17, 2011

the problem with thinking you know everything...

we rage against the machines in the beginning of our age
we writhe in pain, we take the stage or put our pen to the page
new ideals, new beliefs in our inevitable naivite'
we strike out on our journey as if our footsteps lead the way.

surprised now as we sit here looking back
we ponder all our seeking and how much more now we lack
we speak of "when", we pour the wine and raise our aging cups
but i wonder friends, the wisdom we sought will let us soon grow up.



  1. Love it...your poem. You write really well and should certainly write a book. Sorry about everything that has happened to you recently. Remain strong, learn about yourself and set yourself free from the past.

  2. So...a steak dinner and a good glass of wine with a cute woman. If I wasn't taken, I would certainly take you out on the town and treat you like a queen. The way you deserve to be treated. Listen to your inner self..what is it telling you? Your gut instinct never lies. You know what is best for you and what you need to change in your life to make it better. The choice to make that decision however, is hard. We tend to settle with what we are comfortable with, rather than take on situations that are "out of our norms." Those moments in our lives, however, enlighten us, humble us and makes us stronger. When we are able to go beyound what we think we can, we gain strength and wisedom.