welcome to the next chapter...

once a long time ago, i read on a blog, "i am a lesbian but thats not all i am". i was then just teetering on the edge coming out as a lesbian. back then, although i understood what she was saying, i was completely drowning in that one dimension of my identity. i knew then i was more than also but such turmoil tends to shrink your field of vision. it is scary and exciting and anticipatory and it is exhausting.

i am almost 5 years out now. some things look differently in my life. some things are the same. but i revel in the knowledge that i am a lesbian and in the knowledge that i really am more than just... my field of vision has grown to include the wide open spaces of life's endless possibilies.

for those of you who know me, you will be able to find the familiar places of my old writings which i will have on the sidebar. for those who stumble upon me and find yourself confused by fragmented references or are struggling to come out later in life, you will find the Closer to Fine link most helpful. I recommend reading it from the beginning, it makes more sense.

one more thing, blame my lack of capital letters on e.e. cummings...

Sunday, October 2, 2011

reach with all your might... your hand hold will be there....

Jesus told his disciples to cross to the other side of the lake as he dismissed the crowd.   then afterward he went to the hills to pray.   during this time his disciples became  embroiled by a high sea and it frightened them as they were tossed about by the wind in the waves.  they cried out in fear "Jesus! Save Us!"      in the distance they saw a figure walking toward them above the waves.  They cried out "its a ghost!"    Jesus voice rang out above the wind wailing and the sound of the waves pounding against the boat.   "it is I, Jesus... do not be afraid"    Peter speaks, my Lord if you are there walking above the water and are safe,  lord if its you, tell me to meet you in the water and Jesus said come.... peter walked upon the water until he was overcome by the fear of the weather. and the wind buffting him and he broke his gaze with Jesus and  began to sink.    Peter cried out!   Save me my Lord!   and Jesus reached out to Peter  and he was saved.   "Yea of little faith. why did you doubt me?    they climbed into the boat the winds died down and all the disciples praised him as the true Messiah

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