welcome to the next chapter...

once a long time ago, i read on a blog, "i am a lesbian but thats not all i am". i was then just teetering on the edge coming out as a lesbian. back then, although i understood what she was saying, i was completely drowning in that one dimension of my identity. i knew then i was more than also but such turmoil tends to shrink your field of vision. it is scary and exciting and anticipatory and it is exhausting.

i am almost 5 years out now. some things look differently in my life. some things are the same. but i revel in the knowledge that i am a lesbian and in the knowledge that i really am more than just... my field of vision has grown to include the wide open spaces of life's endless possibilies.

for those of you who know me, you will be able to find the familiar places of my old writings which i will have on the sidebar. for those who stumble upon me and find yourself confused by fragmented references or are struggling to come out later in life, you will find the Closer to Fine link most helpful. I recommend reading it from the beginning, it makes more sense.

one more thing, blame my lack of capital letters on e.e. cummings...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

more than slobs...

we are ARTISTS!  

today for no reason at all the girls decided to work on their own art projects.  they had these circular packing cardboard materials akin to wrapping paper rolls that you would use a swords to beat each other up with at christmas while your parents tried really hard not to scream at you.   and each decided what they could make them into...  i told them i would judge a winner and they would get a prize...  one saw a tipi,  one saw a telescope.

they both started working on their own thing before i even got out of bed...  emma asked to cut up a dish towel that had the perfect design for a tipi... "of course" i replied.   hannah found wrapping paper after she duct taped the ends together.  she hated it.  so she contemplated as she watched me sweep the thirsty hardwood floors and mumble about all the candy wrappers and other odd things that i couldn't identify which was being captured by my broom... it was, for lack of a better word perfect fodder to do the mother complaining thing. (yes i finally got out of bed and did something)

as hannah watched me, she became interested in some of the "stuff" that was being gathered in the corner.  something clicked inside her head. (i don't know where she gets that) but she began picking out her treasures from the ever growing pile.  her telescope began to be decorated with candy wrappers, old movie tickets, cellophane, and frankly other unidentifiable material.  one actually said, "pull my tail".

i realized, once she covered her creation, yeah, her ENTIRE creation, with crap that we have contributed to the thirsty hardwood floors, it hit me.  (i wonder were i get that from?)  from now on we have declared ourselves artists not slobs.  tomorrow the blank canvas will be hung on the dining room wall and we will pick up the interesting crap that we find on the floor and other places and create a collage and we will call it art.

of course, pictures will continue show up to update you our work.  once it is done, we will title it.  but it must find it's identity first.

as for the winner.  well i told them it is an impossible task to judge a tipi against a telescope, especially seems they are not finished.  we need craft supplies.  so they both win.  actually we all win.  i am not sure what.  i will think of something.

sorry they are sidewise. yes sidewise is a word. but i can't seem to flip them.  i encourage you to pick up your computer and turn it sidewise to view properly...

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