more than...: a girl can dream... (*addendeum.... she would be waiting for me)

welcome to the next chapter...

once a long time ago, i read on a blog, "i am a lesbian but thats not all i am". i was then just teetering on the edge coming out as a lesbian. back then, although i understood what she was saying, i was completely drowning in that one dimension of my identity. i knew then i was more than also but such turmoil tends to shrink your field of vision. it is scary and exciting and anticipatory and it is exhausting.

i am almost 5 years out now. some things look differently in my life. some things are the same. but i revel in the knowledge that i am a lesbian and in the knowledge that i really am more than just... my field of vision has grown to include the wide open spaces of life's endless possibilies.

for those of you who know me, you will be able to find the familiar places of my old writings which i will have on the sidebar. for those who stumble upon me and find yourself confused by fragmented references or are struggling to come out later in life, you will find the Closer to Fine link most helpful. I recommend reading it from the beginning, it makes more sense.

one more thing, blame my lack of capital letters on e.e. cummings...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

a girl can dream... (*addendeum.... she would be waiting for me)

i know that i am almost 50, a little worn and torn around the edges but a girl can still dream. if a girl ever comes my way who doesn't care about the list in the negative column and she asks me to marry her, if i am as crazy in love with her, with us, as i was once with a brown haired beauty, whatever "married" looks like to lesbians then, i will be wearing this...

*SHE... strong, beautiful, gorgeous, feminine in just the right places a voice that is baritone with a thick sweet after taste... yep, a girl can dream. this girl does.