welcome to the next chapter...

once a long time ago, i read on a blog, "i am a lesbian but thats not all i am". i was then just teetering on the edge coming out as a lesbian. back then, although i understood what she was saying, i was completely drowning in that one dimension of my identity. i knew then i was more than also but such turmoil tends to shrink your field of vision. it is scary and exciting and anticipatory and it is exhausting.

i am almost 5 years out now. some things look differently in my life. some things are the same. but i revel in the knowledge that i am a lesbian and in the knowledge that i really am more than just... my field of vision has grown to include the wide open spaces of life's endless possibilies.

for those of you who know me, you will be able to find the familiar places of my old writings which i will have on the sidebar. for those who stumble upon me and find yourself confused by fragmented references or are struggling to come out later in life, you will find the Closer to Fine link most helpful. I recommend reading it from the beginning, it makes more sense.

one more thing, blame my lack of capital letters on e.e. cummings...

Saturday, July 23, 2011

oh lordy.... who in the hell gave me THIS fortune cookie?

"your charitable efforts will be worthwhile,  just be patient"

Buddha has a sense of humor...  if you would have seen the blood sweat and tears that went on today just to get HALF of my house moved.   many sweet loving people are probably on pain killers and muscle relaxers tonight damning me to hell.   the best thing i managed to do is take the door off the apartment and then beg strong neighbor boys to help maneuver the couch into the apartment.   if i ever leave here again i take a chain saw to the couch and cut it in half.  put it in the dumpster and call it good.

i am now looking to  have to hire a moving company to get the rest...  i am so indebted to these people who worked so hard to get me in here today.  THEIR charitable efforts will be worthwhile, please dear friends be patient... i will make it up to you.   i wish i could share with you the moon shining over the lake and the breeze embracing tired muscles  sitting here on my bistro table on the porch.   without you today... this wouldn't be happening to me tonight.

i have been blessed today.  thank you friends and my God bless you.