welcome to the next chapter...

once a long time ago, i read on a blog, "i am a lesbian but thats not all i am". i was then just teetering on the edge coming out as a lesbian. back then, although i understood what she was saying, i was completely drowning in that one dimension of my identity. i knew then i was more than also but such turmoil tends to shrink your field of vision. it is scary and exciting and anticipatory and it is exhausting.

i am almost 5 years out now. some things look differently in my life. some things are the same. but i revel in the knowledge that i am a lesbian and in the knowledge that i really am more than just... my field of vision has grown to include the wide open spaces of life's endless possibilies.

for those of you who know me, you will be able to find the familiar places of my old writings which i will have on the sidebar. for those who stumble upon me and find yourself confused by fragmented references or are struggling to come out later in life, you will find the Closer to Fine link most helpful. I recommend reading it from the beginning, it makes more sense.

one more thing, blame my lack of capital letters on e.e. cummings...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

the rule of life



  1. You're figuring it out Nina. You are a beautiful woman and I have always known that. Life is challenging indeed but once we know what we need to change, life gets better but only if we decide to change it. Kudos to you for doing what you are doing. And by the way, you didn't loose or fail when you moved away into your new residence....you just took control of your life and decided to move away from someone next door who was toxic.

  2. Beutifully said! I had a couple of "Ah-ha!" moments in reading your post.

  3. You only post comments if they're Anonymous? What a strange inner life you lead.

  4. benefit of the doubt however, i am not stupid. i post comments from anyone to whom will not try to bring negativity into my life. as stated above. my first "to stop doing" in order to work toward peace in, as you say, my "inner life". but kudos to you for getting yourself published.... and thank you for giving me another chance to explain the Rule of Life to people. there are people i am finished with. there are activities i am finished with. there are reactions that i will no longer allow myself to engage in because they harm me.

    and just in case you are wanting to comment about all of the "me" statememts i am making i will answer now so that we can wrap up this conversations. there is a reason you are told to put your oxygen mask on in an airplane emergency before you help someone else.

    be well anonymous... all of you anonymouses...

  5. Love it Nina...and I'm proud of you. Getting rid of the negativity in life will help in so many ways. Life can only get better from here. Thanks for sharing your heart and soul to those of us out there that are wondering in how you are doing. You are bold and have a lot of courage. Hang in there Nina! You are doing great...and in a year from now, you'll reflect on things and realize how much life has changed for you. You are beautiful! Best wishes to you and I will always check in to see how you are doing.